The Medical notes of Doctor Stephanie A Scope

There has been a sudden outbreak of ill health in the prison. Several unwell prisoners have been admitted today for examination.

Prisoner known as Egg O says he is  feeling a bit “Off”. He is cantankerous and up in arms having recently been told he is not allowed to vote in the coming election.This may be contributing to his general malaise. He has been sedated , tied to his bed and placed under close surveillance.

Prisoner known as Plum is deirious. This came on suddenly and without warning as she sat whispering with Egg O. I have diagnosed Plum Pox and recommend a juice transfusion. Her psychiatrist describes her as easy going but manipulative. She disliked therapy and after the first session, which she found humiliating and unnecessary, declared: “No-one makes a fool out of me!”

Prisoner known as Spud is still recovering from a head injury and now has severe Blight. There may be no recovery. He is on a drip. According to some reports, he is a drip.

Warder Number 3 was admitted with stomach ache. The slight tinge of orange about the whiskers alerted me to the possibility of Carrot Addiction. A strict diet is prescribed as follows:

Monday-One apple

Tuesday-one apple

Wednesday-one apple

Thursday-one apple

Friday-one apple

Saturday-one apple

Sunday-one apple

Signed: Dr Steph A Scope