The Diary of Egg O- Jan 22nd

Hush! I have spent the last two days keeping my head down.

Occasionally I have prodded Spud with a fork but so far no response. To tell the truth I am feeling a bit lonely. I tried singing a little ditty but it felt rather lacklustre without music. I never thought I would miss the sound of a strumming potato but there you are.

How inconsiderate he is!

“You’re both very quiet”, observed the rabbits as they shoved our lunch through the door.

So now I am eating for two because that selfish potato can’t be bothered to wake up.

After lunch a rather pleasant diversion. A very attractive plum has been locked in the cell next to ours. It seems she has been using rather ripe language in a public place. She whispers through the bars she was reciting poetry not swearing. A  kindred spirit!

I tell her about Spud and she suggests I wrap him in his blanket. This will be inconvenient as I was using it to make my horrid bed more comfortable but I want to impress her with my kind nature.

Carefully I place the blanket around him and speak soothingly as the lovely Plum watches.

Then we settle down for the evening, whispering and confiding through the bars of our cells.

And later, at night, by the light of the moon, I detect a tiny movement from beneath Spud’s blanket.

“Where am I?” he says in a feeble voice.


Well at least I am not a murderer. But how annoying.

“Oh how wonderful!” says the lovely Plum. “Your kindness has paid off”.

I smile sweetly as if butter wouldn’t melt.

And when she isn’t looking I prod him again.

Quite hard.

Well, can you blame me?

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